It took me a week from the new year to sit down and write. I had, as I have done many a year after year after year, consigned myself to do what I love to do and sit down and write more. Of course, with the new year in mind, I was waiting for that perfect moment when all inspiration would flood my mind with the most profound and interesting things to say about new beginnings, regeneration, renewal, hope, life, happiness… Needless to say, I have been uninspired to talk about these things. I guess because I’ve done it, heard it, continue to hear it, lived it, failed it, and then repeated it. I’m about done. Let’s just agree that we don’t have to wait a whole f*#king year to make goals and have aspirations. By the way, I decided to curse less, hence the annoying “f*#king” word.
So here I am. Now.
January 2, 2020 I watched Kung Fu Hustle; one of my top ten favorite movies of all time. I think I watch this movie every year or at least every other year. Stephen Chow is a f*#king genius. Everything you could do with a movie, he did it and wrapped it all up together in one incredible cinematic masterpiece. From gangsters to heroes, friendship to love, forces of good and evil, action, comedy, drama, and deep reflection of self, I laughed and I cried time and time again watching Kung Fu Hustle.
As I watched this movie again last week, I felt an overwhelming sense of nostalgia, a deep affectionate memory of joy this movie brought to my life. I realized this when uncontrollable tears ran down my cheeks like rain water down a gutter. This happened when the first hero in the movie stepped up to catch a lighter from igniting a gasoline drenched mother and child… If you haven’t seen the movie, you’re probably wondering, what the f*#k as it sounds extreme and yes, the movie goes from zero to one hundred real quick… Anyway… Just watch it if you haven’t seen it. So back to the mother and child being doused in gasoline by gangsters and a lighter thrown ready to ignite them. When this hero steps in between the forces of evil and the innocent, I felt feelings of, I love this person… I want to be this person... Am I this kind of person? It was a deep gut feeling that rose up through my body like a wave and out came a surge of emotions and tears. I felt relieved. I felt as though, I needed this thrust of emotion.
One by one, each hero in the story stepped out to fight forces of evil. And one by one, our heroes fell, but the main hero, the one who was a coward… Again, I can’t explain everything just please go watch the movie… the hero who was reaching for a life that was not meant for him struggled in selfishness to use his life for good. He directly and indirectly hurt and killed the innocent people around him. When this main hero finally regenerates himself to a life worth living, it is only after he makes a significant sacrifice that almost costs him his life. Only after he makes this sacrifice does he fully achieve his greatness.
So back to being inspired to write something that is profound.
I don’t know. I guess I saw something or somethings in Kung Fu Hustle I had never fully realized. I’m no one’s hero, but I know that I can be my own hero. It’s corny and quite typical that I’ve arrived at this moment at the New Year, writing a post I said I wouldn’t. As corny as it is, Kung Fu Hustle made me reconcile some things within me… Like maybe there are some things, some persons that I’ve unknowingly or f*#k it, willingly disregarded because I thought there was a different life I should’ve been living. Maybe I’ve been a coward, selfish, or have had delusions of grandeur and here I am living in Europe, drinking my amazing tasting Jacobs coffee hoping that where I am will bring all these great things to me… when all along, the greatest version of myself wasn’t in everything I searched for… Maybe the greatest version of myself has been here all along. It’s lame. I know. But if Kung Fu Hustle has taught me anything this year, it’s that I’m going to have to make some sacrifices to fully begin this path to…
Self-Love? Peace? Greatness?
Happy New Year!
Thank you for reading.
Sometimes you can’t see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others. — Ellen DeGeneres